So that was a non-starter. I rushed off to yoga and missed it by 5 minutes because I misjudged how far it was and had been cornered into a stop and chat by our airbnb guests. Nice guests but I really did not have the literal minutes to spare :/

Sigh, anyway. Line in the sand. Its Saturday morning and I’ve decided that my morning ritual will include writing a blog post of the day before. In the evenings I just want to shut down the day, so it’s better to have a writing appointment in the morning. Also helps to wake up my brain.

So, what happened yesterday. It started with the best intentions – making that “global” planning for the semester. And I did make progress. It really helped that I used my earplugs to drown out the noise of the city and potential guest activity in the kitchen. I also had to periodically talk my capacity to focus back to the terrible task at hand – systematically overviewing and putting everything in its own planned place , yiiiiiikes. There is nothing worse. I managed to get an overview of the actual time there is to do this – it comes down to a core of 3,5 months, really. But when it came down to prioritising when to do what, I got all wobbly and turned to youtube. First for just a break, then an extended break, which quickly dissolved into limply calling Dan just to hear some human chatter and then calling it a day!

Lucky for me or unlucky for me he was in the same rut and we made plans to meet and go for dinner. We rolled a joint and ended up at ‘t Zwaantje on the negen straatjes. What an authentically ‘cheap and cheerful’ little Dutch gem. Because I hadn’t taken Dan’s sage advice to get out the house to break up the day, I’d been cooped up for hours. My fun bar was so low that by the end of the dinner I wasn’t ready to pack it in and took a second deadly hit of the pure joint :/ bad idea.

Quick aside about my relationship with weed – In my early adulthood I used it recreationally for partying, it popped the music during a heady time. This was in SA, weed was ubiquitous and joints were mixed with tobacco, my old friend. Upon moving to Amsterdam, it was a good fit that weed was not only readily available, but totally not a big deal with the law. Easy skanking. The strength of weed here though has really not been like anything I knew back in SA. One has to be careful lest you find yourself levitating above the fridge, fully freaked out by the sofa. Not my idea of a good time. So when I’ve been jointing, I’ve mixed it with tobacco, my old friend, and this has been good. You know what it is, though, I’ve long been equally enthralled by the high, as well as with the visual drama of unfurling smoke tumbling out along with tendrils of thought. My friends are always curbing me from inhaling so deeply. And herein lies the problem when you’re now 30, want to stop that dirty habit with tobacco, your old friend, but you still inhale way too deeply from a pure joint on an Adult Friday evening. I got way too high, was dutifully carted off back home by trusty husband, was totally not ready to be back inside and had a tempremental episode, through which Dan had to lovingly trip sit me until I fell asleep. Winning.

So this morning, I was eager to get back on this wriggly horse. Minor set back with the yoga, but just ordered overpriced, beautiful looking smoothie from over-branded coffee concept store and am determined to restore adult card *breathesinchestswells.

POSITIVE TAKEAWAY: from last nights shenanigans, Dan introduced me to Aphex Twin’s Selected Ambient Works – fave: Ageispolis. Also just discovered Anderson .Paak, positive vibes – fave: The bird. Also living off Kaytranada’s Glowed Up. What!

PLAN OF ACTION: Go home, Shower, finish planning, fix my hair, go to work.




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